My First Post

Hello world!

I decided to make a blog because a) everybody's doing it! and b) it might be a fun way to document my life more regularly than I currently do in my paper-and-paper journal. Perhaps someday I'll have more of a theme for my blog, or maybe share it with more people, but for now its purpose is for me to record my thoughts and musings.

The title of my blog is "Steady as She Goes," chosen because I feel like one of my biggest challenges in life is avoiding extremes and struggling with perfectionism. I don't have a history of clinical anxiety or emotional illness, but it's definitely something many young adults are facing today. I like the symbolism of me as a ship that I steer and that during my life I will try to keep myself steady. Along with posts about how I deal with the big decisions of my day, I'll also include what brings me joy--things that help me maintain balance in my life.

Along those lines, I was reading Gerrit W. Gong's article "Becoming Perfect in Christ" from last month's Ensign magazine. I never noticed it before, but I love that they have a topic specifically for Young Adults in each Ensign. This article discusses the problem of perfectionism and how a better understanding of the Atonement can help us:

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior commands us: “Be ye therefore perfect” (Matthew 5:48). The Greek word for perfect can be translated as “complete, finished, fully developed” (in Matthew 5:48, footnote b). Our Savior asks us to become complete, finished, fully developed—to be perfected in the virtues and attributes He and our Father in Heaven exemplify.

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Perfectionism can cause sleeplessness, anxiety, procrastination, discouragement, self-justification, and depression. These feelings can crowd out the peace, joy, and assurance our Savior wants us to have.

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Another serious dimension of perfectionism is to hold others to our unrealistic, judgmental, or unforgiving standards. Such behavior may, in fact, deny or limit the blessings of the Savior’s Atonement in our lives and in the lives of others. For example, young single adults may make a list of desired qualities in a potential spouse and yet be unable to marry because of unrealistic expectations for the perfect companion. Thus, a sister may be unwilling to consider dating a wonderful, worthy brother who falls short on her perfectionist scale—he does not dance well, is not planning to be wealthy, did not serve a mission, or admits to a past problem with pornography since resolved through repentance and counseling. Similarly, a brother may not consider dating a wonderful, worthy sister who doesn’t fit his unrealistic profile—she is not a sports enthusiast, a Relief Society president, a beauty queen, a sophisticated budgeter, or she admits to an earlier, now-resolved weakness with the Word of Wisdom.

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As we act and are not acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:14), we can navigate between complementary virtues and achieve much of life’s growth. These can appear in “an opposition,” being “a compound in one” (2 Nephi 2:11). For example, we can cease to be idle (see D&C 88:124) without running faster than we have strength (see Mosiah 4:27). We can be “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:27) while also periodically pausing to “be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10; see also D&C 101:16). We can find our lives by losing our lives for the Savior’s sake (see Matthew 10:39; 16:25). We can be “not weary in well-doing” (D&C 64:33; see also Galatians 6:9) while taking appropriate time to refresh spiritually and physically. We can be lighthearted without being light-minded. We can laugh heartily with but not haughtily at. Our Savior and His Atonement invite us to “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him.” As we do so, He promises that His grace is “sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ” (Moroni 10:32).

As you can tell, I like a lot of that article. I felt it went well with the Relief Society lesson I taught today, which was about agency. I like that Elder Gong referenced 2 Nephi 2:14: And now, my sons, I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon. It helps us feel that we have control, while at the same time calms our overwhelmed feelings because it asserts that God is with us.

Lastly, on this topic I'd like to reference Cecil O. Samuelson's address "Be Ye Therefore Perfect." He was the president of Brigham Young University when I first became a freshman here, and this speech was the first devotional I heard at BYU. I've reflected on it many times throughout my journey here, and I like to think that this message is special for me because it was my initial exposure to BYU devotionals and concerns an issue I find particularly difficult in my life. Here is some of President Samuelson's advice:

This has the promise of a terrific year. It will be an even better year for each of us personally if we can avoid making unnecessary or foolish personal mistakes. You may believe I am talking only about slothfulness or Honor Code violations. Equally concerning to me is the rather common problem of perfectionism. One area of confusion not rare among us is the notion that worthiness is synonymous with perfection. It is not! One can be fully worthy in a gospel sense and yet still be growing while dealing with personal imperfections.

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Please remember that at BYU you never need to be alone. When you have challenges about your abilities to measure up—and we all do from time to time—recognize that your teachers, advisors, bishops, and other Church leaders and the excellent professionals in our Counseling Center are all willing to assist you as you do your part in accepting the grace of Christ and being patient in your progress.

Well, that's quite enough for one post! These quotes span a time from when I first recognized perfectionism as an important issue when I heard about it at that BYU devotional almost three years ago to today when I read that article "Becoming Perfect in Christ" today. I've learned a lot in that time, and I'm looking forward to learning much more in the future!

-Diana
Keep moving forward!