As we wrap up midterms here at BYU, I've been thinking a lot about how I cope with failure. Time and again, we hear that failure is meant to help us grow. But darn it all if it sure doesn't feel like that most of the time! I don't think I'll ever be able to embrace the concept altogether, but during those moments where I'm feeling low, it's nice to pull out a few pithy sayings that help me get through the day, or week (or month, as the case was in October). Often, if you can pull during the time surrounding a failure, you can look back and realize the good in it (hindsight is always 20/20!). Until then, here are my short-term fixes for not only being okay with failure, but celebrating it!
"If you want twice the success, double the rate of failure."
"Fail early and often."
"Curiosity is your greatest advantage."
"Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul." --Nephi (2 Nephi 4:28)
"Shall we not go on in so great a cause?" D&C 128:22
The poem entitled "The Measure of a Man" by anonymous, which reminds me to check myself on how I measure my self-worth.
Some talks that mention failure that I would like to read someday: "The Nobility of Failure," "You Can Do It Now!," "The Will Within."
The song "Keep Your Head Up" by Andy Grammer.
This post is going to be too long already, so I'll stop the list there. But I also wanted to mentin that perfectionism is one of the "types" of procrastination--when you resist beginning a task because you're unsure you'll succeed. In this case, it's best for me to look on the poignant lessons of my past to motivate me (20/20, remember?). One time, there was a job opening that was perfect for me: it was related to both my major and minor areas of study, it was for a company whose environment and cause I loved, it fit my niche perfectly. I wanted this job so badly, you guys. And so I slaved over the application, making it "perfect." I hesitated to send it in, because what if it wasn't good enough yet? I took my resume to a career advisor, I talked to my friends about it and thought of every conceivable way to improve my application...
....All the way up to the day that I found out the position had closed. They had found someone else to fill the job before I had even applied. My heart sunk. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you realize you dropped the ball, hard-core? That was it. And that's an experience I reflect on now to remind myself that trying is worth so much more than waiting. Unfortunately, I have quite a few of these stories (missed a midterm while studying for it? check.) but I like to believe I'm improving. Also, this quote from Theodore Roosevelt just gives me chills:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Well, those are a few ways I deal with failure in my life. What has worked for you?
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